Alter Everything

Days 355-356: If I Shake My Fists At The Sky, Will You Listen?

I grew up reading the serenity prayer.  It was everywhere:  on bathroom walls, in bingo halls, and on dusty shelves in my Mother's living room. 

I believe it.

I believe accepting things the way they are and aren't, while taking actions that make a difference, is the key to happiness. 

I am also failing at it.

Although I am courageous, I am neither serene, nor accepting. And, I'm seriously beginning to doubt the wise part....at least not in the way I admire: graceful, zen-like, with a small white lamb tucked neatly around my shoulders .

FRUSTRATED best describes me today.

Frustrated with...
illness,
pain,
and sick family members who, despite my best efforts, continue to eat hormone-filled meats, pesticide-covered fruits, and sugar by the truck load.

I can't want it for them.
It's hard enough to want it for me.

Still, I can't deny...
feeling sad,
being annoyed,
and wishing things were different.

Altered Today:  Nothing yet, but I'm working on boundaries, communication, and expectations.

Day 353: I'm Becoming Really Good In A Crisis

Mom:  "When will it stop?"
(responding to today's medical emergency)

In the bedroom, Rich, my brother-in-law--who never complains-- stands doubled-over, groaning, covered in sweat.

"Call 9-1-1..."
"Take him to the hospital."
"Get his medications."
"Find the doctor's number."
"Where's his wallet?"

Mayhem.

My family's having a horrible time lately. 

Rage, depression, migraines, pain.  Four people. One house.  All living, managing, coping, healing, existing with Chronic Lyme. 

Instinct told me they needed help.

Me (armed with vitamins, stuff for green drinks, detox materials):  Thought you could use a hand.

I didn't foresee kidney stones (not pleasant, but survivable).

Poor Rich--throwing up, reeling from pain, with elevated heart rate, and blood pressure.

As I type, he's under careful watch, being pumped full of IV liquids.
Everyone else is asleep, completely exhausted.

Life's never boring.

Altered Today: Appreciation for my improved coping skills. I don't worry ('til I have to).

Day 263: Born Country

source

Me (after finishing a nice meal): Man, that was good.
My sister (declaratively): Yes-it-WAS (leaning back).  Now, I'm going to pick my teeth.

???????????????????????????????????????????

-Insert 10 minutes of laughter here-

Down the road--a kid--riding a bike, eats a sandwich with one hand and holds a grocery bag in the other--as he swerves into traffic.

At the store--a man--in the parking lot, lets his dog poop beside him, as he brushes his teeth.

I'm not recounting scenes from a movie.  Just a typical day...at home...visiting family.  It's been said, you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't the trailer park out the of girl.  I concur. For years, I tried EVERYTHING to escape my back woods roots: moving to Jersey, going to college, working in corporate, traveling abroad.

Each time, I've returned to the same:  "Uncles" who raise skunks, hairdressers who get arrested, people who say "warsh" instead of "wash," and a house with 6 cats, 8 horses, and 2 dogs.

It's a simple world, filled with knick-knacks, Skip-Bo battles, vegetables carried in recycled cat litter containers, rooms full of Christmas trees, and people who pee with the door open.

Still, today, as I sit in the broken corner recliner--the one now "complete" with a pvc pipe lever, I can't help but smile. I love these folks. They'd give you the shirt off their back and the heart from their chest. And, in many cases, they have.

There's no place like home.

Altered Today: Gratitude, Appreciation

Day 206: Time for Tea 2011

Lots to experience at today's gluten free/sugar free tea party.


 
Food...

Friends...

 
 

Fun...

Love...
 


I am tired, but it's good tired; the way you are when you trade a day for something worthwhile. Thank you Debbie, Denise, and Angel for making this possible and thanks to everyone who attended. This was one of the best afternoons I've had in almost a year.

I love you and miss you already.

XOXOX

Altered Today: Memories, Friendships, Well Being

Day 199: Another Day, Another Curveball

"She did it again." Those were my husband's words as he came into the bedroom this morning. I could tell from the noise he was making, he wanted me to get up.

"Awww crap..." I said (no pun intended). "Should we go to the vet?"
"I don't know," he grumbled, donning his surgical gloves.

The truth is...Betsy is getting older (13 now) and has all kind of strange health problems (much like her Mommy). She wears a Comfy Cone to keep from itching, sometimes poos in her crate, a while back came down with old dog vestibular disease, and a bunch of other stuff I can't even get into.

I love that dog. When I adopted her nearly 11 years ago, I knew this would be a part of the package.  Still, we had an agreement.  I agreed to love her to pieces. She agreed to stick around until I turned 40 (which happened last October). So far, we've both kept up our end of the bargain.

Having come in fresh from her bath, she's happy; not sick, upset, or pained....definitely no worse for wear. Hubby, on the other hand, is a whole other story. The dog, the crate, the laundry room, and a pile of crap have taken their toll. Defeated, he heads to the shower.

I should mention:
Angel is the cleanest human being on the planet....sometimes showering three times daily. If there is a hell on earth, this is surely included. Top that with a sick wife, most of the housework, all of the money making responsibilities, and little sleep,  you can see his life lately has been no bed of roses.

Still, we are family.  Messy, broken, ill, wore out, or otherwise, we stick together. So, it's off to the grocery store to buy some bleach, make breakfast, and pick up the slack for a bit. Luckily, I am up and able.

Here's to turning this day around....

Altered Today: How I woke up, doting on traumatized hubby and pupster, catching fowl balls and starting a new game.

Day 192: My Wish for You

I'll never forget the day I found out John Denver died.  It was 1997 and I was sitting in my dingy, grey cubicle at Cintas...my first "official" sales job.  I'm not sure how I found out...if a customer told me, if I heard it on the radio, if my co-worker mentioned it (which is what I think happened).  I do remember, however, I couldn't stop crying...not snot like, can't catch your b-b-reath tears. More like chew on your cheek, silent sorrow. One by one, the tears fell.  I couldn't stop them.  By mid-day, it was too much.  I made up some excuse, went home, and wept.

John Denver was like family to me....which is odd for a man I've never met.  Growing up, I spent hours laughing/crying/dreaming, as I listened and sang along to Country Roads, Grandma's Feather Bed, Annie's Song, and Sunshine on My Shoulders. My love of music, Muppets, and fiddles began with him...as did much of my desire to change the world, end poverty, and clean up my community. 

The first time I ever heard somebody talk about the issue of hunger, it came from John Denver.  He also gave me a profound appreciation for my Country Girl roots...which is ironic considering where I am writing from today.

As I sit in the spare bedroom of my parent's house, it's only fitting that John Denver should come on the tv--singing on a PBS special. For two hours, I forgo sleep, worry, and canasta, just to be with him.  A half hour later, I'm still here...hoping, thinking, and smiling.

I can't really express what it means...to hear his words, see his face, and love his music.  Rather than try, I'll just say this...                                              

"If I had a day that I could give you
I'd give to you a day just like today
If I had a song that I could sing for you
I'd sing a song to make you feel this way."
--Sunshine on My Shoulders, John Denver.

I love you.  Hope you are happy.

Altered Today: Memories, Appreciation, New Place I want to Visit

Day 164: AWKWARD...What Is Up With All The Arguing?

                                                                            Is Lyme causing us to think less clearly?

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. That's how my husband said I should start this blog post. Seriously, however, I am having a dilemma. I somehow want to illustrate my COMPLETE discomfort watching friends argue on Lyme Message Boards. Can you think of a good opener?

It is akin to watching couples fight when you have been invited to their house for a dinner party.  You go there thinking: "This is great. We'll relax. We'll have a good meal."  And you end up wondering how to get out gracefully...secretly questioning why people can't handle their upset in a more productive manner.

Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE a debate. I LOVE when people disagree. I LOVE when people have opposing views and stand up for what they believe in. What I don't love is hate.  What I don't love are disparaging remarks. What I don't love are opinions...touted as facts...that are used to separate and pit people against each other.

THIS makes me crazy.

Honestly, there is so much drama surrounding Lyme Disease (and life in general).  Do we really need to perpetuate it within our own communities?

I am not pretending I have a solution here, but...as a human being and a life coach...I am engaged in the question.  What can we do to talk, laugh, and discuss things in a productive, positive environment?

If you have thoughts, let me know.

 

Altered Today: Home for Kitty, Opinions About Message Boards, Desire to Create a Lyme Positive Community

Day 111: I'm Going to Disney World--a Vacation from Chronic Illness

Ducks at Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge

Living near the happiest place on earth has its advantages.  Within 1/2 hour, I can step inside Cinderella's castle, visit elephants in Africa, or lose myself among throngs of tourists, pretending I am on vacation.

During healthier times, I'd go there weekly; darting from park to park, weaving from boat to bus to car, seeking only my next big adventure with my husband.  We've seen a lot of magic on those grounds: bushes brought to life, lights dancing in the trees, and, of course, Hidden Mickey's.

Of everything we've enjoyed, our favorite times were those spent with animals:  The cuttlefish that inked us; the deer we found at the Fort Wilderness Campground;  the Spoonbills we discovered watching over their nest.

Monroe and Udell with their soon to be hatchling

Today, feeling well enough for a drive and some outdoor relaxation, we headed toward the mouse and found a soft spot to lie...just south of napping zebra. Between the hot tub and the pool's edge, I captured these thoughts, just as two ducks settled in for a bath.

I'm relaxed today
Pain surprisingly absent
or dull
with energy
that allows me to smile
It is good to be out in the sun
good to be out in public
among the white tourists
and brown, speckled birds

Even kids,
with no distinction
between a hot tub
and a swimming pool, 
do not bother me

Enveloped by din
I slip out of hiding
into the chill
of the open blue water

I sink
I float
I smile

Two ducks drop by
to swim
and chat

Illness
is on
vacation

I
am
happy

Altered Today: Enjoying the moment. Taking a break from being sick.

Day 67: It's Not So Terrible

Although I'm originally from Pittsburgh (and a former cheerleader), I'm not a big football fan. I don't own a Terrible Towel, don't know my 1st from 4th downs, and have never quite understood whether I should be screaming because I am excited or because I'm upset. 

I'm not sure how I escaped the obsession.  My husband loves the game. 

Hubby's Facebook Today

My oldest friend regularly flies from California to visit Heinz Field. 

This is Barb no doubt rushing to get home before kickoff.

My sister has Polamalu as her Facebook photo.

 
Her latest Facebook post.

And my parents are Steel Town crazy (just take a look at what they wore to church today).

Dad and Mom

From a distance, it's all sort of cute, but annoying.  While I appreciate the hometown loyalty and go get 'em attitude, I've never understood the competitiveness or the fanaticism.  Although, I must admit,  The Blind Side --the story about Ravens' Michael Oher--did make me appreciate the back story behind the players. LOL.

Anyway, rather than be my normal spoil sport self and retreat to the bedroom with a magazine, today I did something I have never done in 40 years of living:  I watched an entire Superbowl. 

It was a little painful, but doable (thank God for recliners).  And honestly those last 7 minutes were a nail biter.  Am I now a raging fan?  Not really.  But I did wear a Steeler's shirt and even yelled "Go Steelers" a couple of times during the game. 

Who knows?  Next year I may even make nachos.

Altered Today: How I Spent My Superbowl Sunday, Bonding Time with Hubby, Slight Enjoyment of Pigskin.

Day 53: Sit On It

It's 1:30 in the morning and my living room hardly knows what to do with itself. In the corner, a paisley, Target slipper chair cries desperately for attention. Against the wall, a lonely IKEA Karlstad couch begs for a throw blanket.

Why so glum?  What's all the fuss about?

Well, imagine how you'd feel if you suddenly stopped being some body's favorite.

Introducing our new girls...Lazette and Lazella AKA LaZBoy's Rialto Recliner Rockers in Brown.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                   

                    

                     
                      

                    Lazette, born January 21st at 4:30pm.                                                                         Lazella, born a day later on January 22nd.                       

Now, before you say anything, I know.  They're not much to look at in pictures. 

But, visit them in person and you too will find yourself hypnotized by their soft, comforting, ways and gentle rocking action. 

Lazette, originally scoped out for my feisty father, made a great first impression.  Immediately, she set herself apart from her other lazy family members with her slim physique and modern ways. 

She was a little tough at first.  Her gears were cranked a little too tight and she had her back to us in the showroom. Still, after a little TLC and a brief getting to know you session, she was good to go and she definitely knew her place when we got her home...right in the corner next to the bookshelf.

Lazella was a completely different story.  We never planned on having more than one, but Lazette was so perfect, so beautiful, so magical, it seemed like a shame not to give her a companion (and we did have the other side of that bookshelf...).

So, congratulations to us on the birth of our new babies.  Aren't they beautiful?!?!?

Altered Today: Where I sit and write, opinions about recliners, comfort, Mom and Dad's complaints about our modern furniture.