"A small light brightens a dark space." --Unknown
Lately, I can't help but notice all of the energy being directed at what's wrong with the world. A dog being choked by its owner, a political conspiracy, another death--unspeakable things darken my news feeds.
It leaves me breathless. It leaves me groping in midnight for the tiniest spark, which, depending on the day, may light the way, or burn down the whole effing building with everyone in it.
Unknowingly, I've been a part of THIS.
I've been a part of the world that roots for no possibility.
I didn't do it intentionally.
I did it because I got caught up....in the strain of the moment...in the feeling that THIS is not right...in the belief that THIS--whatever THIS is--MUST be acknowledged. Otherwise, my life, my pain, or my experience somehow will not matter.
THIS has consumed me.
THIS has also made me irresponsible.
For nearly two years, I've felt THIS so deeply, that the thought of NOT feeling THIS and NOT discussing THIS has become unfathomable.
"How can I express me, without expressing THIS?" I've questioned....day after day after day.
"You can, if you choose to." My heart finally answered.
So, there it is, after four-months of silence, finally, something to say:
- My dizziness has subsided
- I've stopped convulsing in bed
- I do not have uterine cancer
- I'm showering WAY more often and, occassionally, even fixing my hair
Other things have happened, but I choose to focus on THIS.
And...
just for the moment...
I am part
of the solution.
Happy Thanksgiving.
What inspired THIS?
Fiona Apple's Words of Wisdom (scroll down to read the content)
Potato Chip Dealers and Stolen Kisses
The Movie You Should Buy If You Think the Best Days of Your Life are Behind You
Which led to re-watching THESE...
I've missed your writing. Beautiful, as always. Love you, my friend.
Posted by: Melissa | 11/21/2012 at 08:57 AM
There is an answer! I wanted to let you know that there is a doctor that is on the cutting edge of treating Lyme's Disease and that Mold Bio Toxins have the same symptoms that you are experiencing also. His name is Ritchie Shoemaker and he has a website called survivingmold.com - PLEASE CHECK OUT THIS SITE - I promise that I am NOT SOLICITING, but am just another Lyme's victim like you and wanted to share a possible answer. There is "non-standard" lab work that he has developed to confirm these things, as well as a treatment protocol that works for both Lyme's and Mold. There are pages and pages of videos, articles and excerpts from his books that you can also find online. I was diagnosed with MS, Lyme's, Lupus, Fibromyalgia, CFS, Gastro problems and much more. My Dr. has consulted with him and it has literally saved my life. Although I am not through with treatment, I am drastically getting better. I am writing in hope to bless you with this information of a possible treatment for you and an end to suffering, as I have suffered for years with very similar symptoms as you. I wish for you please not to post this, but to hopefully be blessed with the info that I have given you and maybe find some relief and fully gain your life back. God Bless!
Posted by: Crystal | 12/07/2012 at 02:38 PM
I recently came across your blog and have Been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I do not know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading.
Posted by: dissertation proofreading | 12/11/2012 at 06:27 AM
Thank you for reading....and commenting. Wishing you a great 2013 filled with joy.
Posted by: Alter Everything | 01/01/2013 at 02:38 PM
Crystal, Thanks so much for the note on Shoemaker. I am actually familiar with his work and have done much of his protocol via another mold doctor and my LLMD.
Cholestyramine was very helpful to me...like on my list of top five things that have made a difference. Like you, I would tell anybody to look at mold, if they haven't done so. Coupled with treating viruses, Lyme, genetic mutations, allergies, nervous system disfunction, and parasites, I think it is a BIG part of the healing process.
So happy to hear you are feeling better and thank you, thank you, thank you for taking time to write and share your experience. Every little bit makes a difference.
Posted by: Alter Everything | 01/01/2013 at 02:48 PM