Sooooooo, in a desperate attempt to cure my chronic thrushy, mcthrush and wormy mcworms, one of my doctors recommended I visit another doctor who is said to have great "intuition" when it comes to figuring out complex health problems.
"She's a miracle worker," I was told.
"Knew my patient had cancer before science could show it," they said.
Soooo, I made the appointment.
My actual 5-minute conversation, after driving for 30 minutes and waiting an hour.
Said psychic miracle worker (in her THICK Jamaican accent): What seem to be da problem?
Me: Well...I'm hoping you can tell me.
Her: You sick? You have tings going on with you?
Me: Well, I have Lyme, but...
Her (interrupting): Ufffft...Ya have Lyme???? Ya DONE. Tere's no helpin' dat.
Me: Well, I'm not really here for dat. I'm here about thrush and possible parasites. Testing and medications aren't helping and I heard you have a good sense about knowing what's going on with people when science can't figure it out.
Her: Not today. Not in ya case. In ya case, I've got no-tin. Ya got Fibromyalgia? Uffft...Ya DONE. Tere's no helpin' dat.
Me (laughing at the ridiculous of it all): Well...I appreciate your honesty.
Her: Ya get da colonoscopy?
Me: Yep.
Her: Ya get da stool test?
Me: Yep.
Her: Phhhh...I dunno know. Maybe Infectious Disease doctor? Lyme, parasites, Fibromyalgia... Ya get tose tings, Ya DONE. Tere's no helping dat
Me: Well...at least you've heard of it.
ROFL. Call me now. Do you believe I just paid (or insurance just paid) for dat??? Thank goodness I haven't lost my sense of humor.
Let me apologize in advance ( for laughing ), but YOU CRACK ME UP! Hubby was asking me what I'm laughing at....LOL.
It's so ridiculous you HAVE to laugh or you will cry...but man-o-man! Tese are da doctors we go to for help, and dis is what we get? Sometimes I feel like we landed in the Twilight Zone or are on Candid Camera and dis really isn't happening. Just when you think it cannot possibly get more insane, it does.
I'm sowwy you had to endure that. Try the Betaine.
Posted by: Pam | 12/12/2011 at 08:03 PM
SERIOUSLY??!! I can't believe it. You have to laugh or you would cry. Good grief...what we won't try. I have been to some alternative places, but you have me beat...probably all of us beat! Ha! I think I better start venturing out of the box.
Posted by: Renee | 12/13/2011 at 10:19 AM
Wow. This person has a license to practice medicine? Really??
Posted by: Jrsn1234 | 12/13/2011 at 05:59 PM
I appreciated her honesty.
Posted by: Adi Saavedra | 04/09/2013 at 10:22 PM