It's hard to believe it's been almost a year since Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot outside a Safeway store in Tuscon, Arizona. I remember it clearly. One moment, I was in a car arguing with a friend to stop procrastinating about purchasing eye glasses. The next, I was witnessing the aftermath of an apparent massacre: 20 injured, 6 dead, 1 recovering.
Choking back tears, my mind raced to similar man-made disasters: the school shootings at Columbine, September 11th, the drunk driving death of my girlfriend Shana when I was 18...
So sad and seemingly pointless.
When bad stuff happens to good people, I die a little. Little bits of me float to heaven on exasperated tears...
Fix this.
Stop this.
Do something.
The coach inside me knows it's not what happens to you, but what you create from it that matters.
The impacted part of me grieves for motherless children, empty dining room chairs, and damaged souls who live to inflict pain on others.
Last night, as I watched Gabby Giffords and Mark Kelly's interview with Diane Sawyer, I couldn't help but reflect on my own journey...dealing with Chronic Lyme Disease and trying to make sense of the nonsensical.
It's been a rough 16 months, full of setbacks, and baby steps. This time last year, I questioned my sanity, while desperately searching for something, somebody, anybody to make it different, better, or bearable.
Now, disease is present, pain is present, but there's peace in the process...
I am where I am.
I'm not where I'm not.
All there is to do today is what there is to do today...even when the "to do" is to get out of bed, wash my hair, or get a colonoscopy.
I am proud of myself. I'm proud of the person I am becoming and proud of all of the people who--literally or metaphorically--take a shot to the head and keep on fighting.
Life is messy.
WE are messy.
We are also strong, capable, amazing individuals with a profound ability to make a difference in this world...regardless of our circumstances.
Perhaps Edward Everett Hale said it best when he said: I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.
Whether that something is tying your shoes, speaking a sentence, or writing a blog post, as Gabby Giffords reminds us, do it with passion, love, and courage.
After all, you never know who might be watching.
Altered Today: Heroes, Pride, Appreciation
Don't you think the people who got the life they planned are totally bored? That's what I like to think, because my life is definitely not turing out the way I thought it would...in both awesome and frightening ways.
Thanks for keeping up with your blog, Kathy. So much of what you are writing about is just part of the human experience, whether it is Lyme Disease or some other "thing." I can relate on some level to most of what you're expressing!
Posted by: Robyn | 11/15/2011 at 03:01 PM
Amazing post Kathy! So well said! Love you!
Posted by: Melissa | 11/15/2011 at 03:14 PM
Beautiful post, Kathy! I love you and I miss you a whole bunch.
Posted by: Alyson | 11/15/2011 at 09:16 PM
I am reminded again and again, Kat, how astounding you are. Each of these posts I read by you, remind me what a strong person you are; how you see the world- good, bad, and ugly- and how you appreciate all of it in your life.
Posted by: Kathryn | 11/15/2011 at 11:59 PM
What a powerful post Kathy,...and just what I needed to hear. I can get to a place of feeling sorry for myself and your perspective on life as it is...today...is so good for my poor me attitude right now. I watched that special too and found it so inspiring ~ along with your posts. Truly. Bless you and thanks for your comments on my blog. Will pray for you too.
Posted by: Renee | 11/16/2011 at 09:08 AM
Totally agree with everyone. This is such a powerful, beautiful post! Your words impact our hearts.
I missed the Gabby Giffords special; dang it. But I've been truly amazed at her spirit; so strong and determined. A lot like you.
May we all be inspired and encouraged by those who fight through their messes and find something beautiful. Thanks for reminding me, Kathy. XOXOX
Posted by: Michelle Holderman | 11/16/2011 at 01:37 PM
Oh my little comment posting Angels. I just love you guys. If you missed the special, you can catch it via the link in this post. Totally worth the investment very inspiring. XOXOXOX
Posted by: Alter Everything | 11/16/2011 at 04:52 PM
How powerful. Love you for posting that.
Posted by: Jrsn1234 | 11/19/2011 at 12:13 PM