Day 320: Time Flies

Lately, I've received several emails, messages, and texts. "Where've you been?" "Are you ok?" "Miss you." I feel the same way...missing, somehow disconnected.  I can't really say where the time's gone. I'm not out doing the Hustle. I haven't been napping (except this afternoon). I'm not spending my usual time in the sauna, sorting meds, dry brushing, blogging, juicing, on Facebook.

I am behind...on everything (phone calls, dishes, art journals...you name it).

I guess, realistically, you could say, I've been at the doctors. On average, I have 4-6 appointments a week. With travel, that takes between 12-15 hours. Add on labs, colonics, lymphatic stuff, massage, crazy foot baths...another 5+ hours...gone. 

It all feels very consuming.

When I get home, I usually just stare into space.  Too tired to cook, I eat out often.  When I can muster up some extra oompha, I go to a movie, have Angel wheel me around Disney, get some fresh air, or visit with friends.  Yesterday, in between sips of tea at Starbucks (a rare outing), I caught up with two friends.  One just opened a bakery (you should totally visit it). Another just had a baby.

"Are you working?" one asked.
"Are you better yet?" the other said.

That's also exhausting.

In between, I'm daydreaming...about taking a class, singing lessons, working, improv, exercise.  It's too soon for those things.  Instead, I'm settling for Solitaire. Still, it's a good sign I'm thinking about them.

Hard to believe it's already October.

Altered Today: Playlist, Thoughts for the Future

Comments

[e]

Hard to believe it's already halfway through October! And that's from a "healthy" person's point of view! Ugh... Time does fly!!

[Michelle Holderman]

Kathy, I relate sooooo much! In fact, you penned it perfectly. Although the details of our lives are different, the general effect of Lyme and all it brings is a sure commonality. Between all the doctors appointments and therapies and and travel and dealing with the regular exhaustion/fever/pain/not feeling good.....we're worn out. I daydream about the things I want to do too. Simple things that I haven't been able to do in a very long time. And even on a semi-good or decent day, there's only so much energy to expend and then thats it. Nobody can possibly know what the depths of chronic illness is like or how dramatically it changes your life unless they've had first hand experience. Hope it helps to know I understand exactly where you're coming from. Love you. XOXOX