Day 236: Herxing

Man, I'd give anything to sleep...ANYTHING to shut my eyes, feel tired, and drift peacefully for 8 or so hours. I feel like I am going crazy, like the bugs are winning, like worms are literally everywhere -- inside of me, crawling in my heart, eating up my bones, burrowing in my brain.

It is an awful, awful, awful feeling.

THIS is how people go insane. It's why talented folks like Sylvia Plath end up with their heads in ovens. I'm sure of it.

I've tried all of my usual tricks: melatonin, tv, computer time, switching beds, bathing, tapping, breathing, aromatherapy, Theanine. Nothing -- and I mean NO THING -- is helping.  The anxiety and paranoia's unbearable. Who am I? A complainer?  A loose cannon?  A psycho on the internet?

Logically, I know.  It's the Lyme. It's the die off. It's a herx (I mean how good can you feel when cysts are bursting in your brain?).  Mentally, it doesn't feel that way.  It feels like my world is crashing...like PMS, a really bad Lifetime movie, my dog died, my boyfriend cheated on me, horrible Scrabble letters, and my house is on fire all rolled into one.

Thursday's doctor's appointment, please get here soon.

Altered Today: Anxiety, Upping my Detox efforts

Comments

[Cam Bradford]

HI Kathy -- so glad you are back but not so glad that you are feeling so HORRIBLE! I wish there was a magic wand for this nightmare. Something that may be going on is that you have disrupted the "hornet's nest" once you started treatment and the parasites have become extremely active. They are very active at night and can keep you awake. Does Dr. K have you on something specific for parasites? The other thing is that your hormones could be way out of balance.....i'm sure they are as we all are, but maybe even more so since starting heavy treatment. Such a vicious cycle...we desperately need sleep to heal!

If you are ever interested in going to someone along with Dr. K, I have an amazing Naturopath in Altamonte Springs that i went to for 2 years. She is amazing....i would go in with the most vicious headache and "boom" gone, stomach problems, "boom" gone, sinus issues "boom" gone...you name it she can help! Just ask if you ever need anything! One other thing I will mention is about the magnesium. I know you are adamantly opposed but I will just share my quick story. My current doctor, Dr. R., trained with Dr. K. in Washington State and still goes in and does training for him at various seminars. She told me to stay on my magnesium...sometimes the pros outweigh the cons. Food for thought! I can't get off of it b/c of the severe twitching I get in my face and my muscles tear too easily. The magnesium can also help you sleep sometimes!

Hope you can find some peaceful sleep today! Baby steps....you will get there.

Cam

[Melissa]

Call Dr. K and get your appointment bumped up! I'm worried about you Kath. XO

[Alter Everything]

Thanks Cam and Mel--I really appreciate it.

Cam, My appt's on Thursday and plan on talking to him about Magnesium and other stuff then (unless I manage to bump it up sooner). Sometimes it's hard to know what's causing what. I've started acupuncture in the last two weeks...did that do it? On my 4th week of pulsing Flagyl and on a bad week in my cycle. Is that the reason? Also, just went off Rocephin a little over a week ago. So many things to consider. Would love to get together and catch up soon and will shoot you an email. Just not fit for company at this point (know you understand).

Love you girls. XOXO

[Alter Everything]

Cam, Just realized I didn't answer you on the parasites. My acupuncturist has been targeting parasites with needles (not herbs). Dr. K also has me pulsing Flagyl...which can disrupt (and I am definitely seeing activity). No ivermectin or other stuff yet, but it's coming.

[Cam Bradford]

Wow, Kathy, you do have a lot going on. I think your body is SCREAMING at you. Hmmm...acupuncture....good question.....there were many times when i simply could not tolerate...then there were times when I did have a session I would be wiped out for a day or 2. I knew I only had about 2-3 hours before the "crash" would happen after a session. It finally got to the point that my dr. would muscle test and she said she didn't think my body could handle it. Maybe you could pull back on something for a little bit and see if you get any relief.

I hate that you are feeling so yucky!

Take care,
cam

[Pam]

Thinking of you.

Hopefully this bad phase will go by quick.

[shana]

Kathy, just wanted to pop in real quick to let you know I am always thinking of you and sending you loving thoughts and wishes!

[Alter Everything]

Love you Shana. Let's get together soon.

[Saimz]

I love you. Thank you for writing about it. So many people have kept these things to themselves and no one finds out unless they have it too.
I hope you get sleep soon.