Day 82: Tired of Being Sick

 

Comments

[Barbie Brady]

Kathy, this was incredibly honest and brave of you to post. It's not easy or even necessary to always be positive. Sometimes things suck. Being sick definitely sucks. And being sick for so long is the most massive suck of all. I want to say "feel better"...but if you could you would.

However, you did get one thing wrong. Your best friend is not just a dog! I love you!
b

[Joe Peters]

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kathy Sheridan]

This made me so sad Kathy. You are such a vibrant and creative person and I am sorry that you are going through this. I do know that you will get better...but I know you are despairing that this will never end. Of course, my first instinct is to say, "have you been tested for ALL of the tick borne diseases...not just lyme? have you gone to an infectious disease specialist? Have you...etc.etc.etc." That is just the teacher and want to fix everything person coming out in me. I am sure you have tried everything...and I suspect have gotten multiple opinions. Keep trying different doctors Kathy...one will know the answer. You WILL NOT be sick forever. It seems like it and you are TIRED of it....remember, it is always darkest before the dawn! Your body wants to go back to homeostasis...it wants to get better...it is just taking time, and maybe the right diagnosis is yet to come. You have a right and reason to be sick and tired of being sick.....but do not give up hope....take it moment by moment whenever you can. K

[Joanna]

Hi Kathy,
I so totally understand you!! I'm new to your blog and got here via ChronicBabes. I've also been home sick for 6 months, my best friend is my cat [when my husband's not around] and people don't understand how hard it is to be cooped up in the house, but hurt too much to leave. I've had those same bad days, and sometimes it seems that only my bad days are documented on my blog, and perhaps I do have more bad days than good. I'm so scared that this will be my life from now on, unchanged, full of pain, feeling useless. I'm Type A as well, I mean I ran a department for goodness' sake! Now making dinner is a challenge some days. I feel back for my husband as he comes home to a sad place, we don't go out much, and if we do, I'm embarrassed to take my cane with me. It just SUCKS! The only thing that gets me through the bad days is my faith and the hope that tomorrow won't be so bad. ((HUGS))

[Kathy Tagudin]

Kathy,

Thanks so much the encouraging note, Kathy. Next time I am in Chicago, I am going to find you, take you tea, and hug your neck. :) This video was taken was an especially bad day filled with despair, pain, and loneliness. Gratefully, they are not all like that and I often get good ones.

I am working with a great doctor now who I believe is heading in the right direction (checking all co-infections and other options that would present with my particular symptoms and lab results).

My next appointment is in two weeks and this will determine if my next stop is a Rheumatologist or Infectious Disease Specialist. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts, prayers, and meditations. It means more than you know.

[Kathy Tagudin]

Joanna,

Thanks so much for commenting and reading. I popped over to your blog. I'm sooo sorry to hear about the loss of your baby and the struggles you are dealing with: fertility, chronic back pain, and loneliness.

Years ago I broke my knee and got around in a wheelchair and with a walker for a while. It was a real wake up call and only a glimpse into disability, but the experience changed me. I remember how people spoke to me differently, how they stared, how some people would rush ahead--sometimes cutting me off--so they didn't have to wait behind me in line. Is that why you're embarrassed?

I have no idea what it's like to use a cane, but I can understand the pain of now having to depend on things just to get around. I also understand the grief that comes from missing what was once normal.

Your blog is beautiful. It takes guts to share your journey with others and I pray that every word you write brings you peace, comfort, and relief. Continued love, friendship, and understanding in your life as you face your challenges and your fertility options.
Hang in there. You are not alone and it will get better.

[Debbie Semarge]

Kathy, my dear sweet sister.. I am so very sorry for all the pain you are in and the just not knowing sucks, absolutely sucks!! I love you so very much.. Mom and dad will be down today to spend some time with you. It always helps to have "your mommy" when you are feeling so bad.. I love you..

[Kathy Tagudin]

Thanks, Deb. I love you. Hope you are well.