Lately, I can't help but notice all of the energy being directed at what's wrong with the world. A dog being choked by its owner, a political conspiracy, another death--unspeakable things darken my news feeds.
It leaves me breathless. It leaves me groping in midnight for the tiniest spark, which, depending on the day, may light the way, or burn down the whole effing building with everyone in it.
Unknowingly, I've been a part of THIS.
I've been a part of the world that roots for no possibility.
I didn't do it intentionally.
I did it because I got caught up....in the strain of the moment...in the feeling that THIS is not right...in the belief that THIS--whatever THIS is--MUST be acknowledged. Otherwise, my life, my pain, or my experience somehow will not matter.
THIS has consumed me.
THIS has also made me irresponsible.
For nearly two years, I've felt THIS so deeply, that the thought of NOT feeling THIS and NOT discussing THIS has become unfathomable.
"How can I express me, without expressing THIS?" I've questioned....day after day after day.
"You can, if you choose to." My heart finally answered.
So, there it is, after four-months of silence, finally, something to say:
- My dizziness has subsided
- I've stopped convulsing in bed
- I do not have uterine cancer
- I'm showering WAY more often and, occassionally, even fixing my hair
Other things have happened, but I choose to focus on THIS.
just for the moment...
I am part
of the solution.
What inspired THIS?
Fiona Apple's Words of Wisdom (scroll down to read the content)
Potato Chip Dealers and Stolen Kisses
The Movie You Should Buy If You Think the Best Days of Your Life are Behind You
Which led to re-watching THESE...