I'll admit it; I'm a chicken. For 20 minutes, I've been quivering, holding my meticulously clean thigh with my blue-gloved hand, staring at a needle.
"It's just like darts," I rationalize.
"You can do this."
"It's just a pinch."
Even in the most logical scenarios, THIS isn't happening.
"What if this could save your life?"
"What if you were on a desert island?"
"You get shots all of the time. You're fine with it."
(That's because I'm not giving them).
Without blinking, a zillion different thoughts run through my head:
- Missing my thigh, jamming the needle into my wrist, hitting some major artery
- Passing out from pain/hyperventilation, the dog getting hold of the syringe, eating it, and dying in the process
- Not jamming the needle in hard enough, then doing it again and again and again
- Stinging, unbearable pain flooding my leg (Thanks, Lyme Support Group)
Bravely, I think of my favorite Lyme nurse and channel her.
Deep breath in.
Predictably, the needle hits my thigh and bounces back.
It's like a cruel staring contest.
You can guess who won.
Determined, I pick up the phone and text a friend I haven't seen since September.
"Are you home? I need a nurse favor."
Luckily, she's willing to make house calls for just such an "emergency."
Hours later, she's here...smiling, willing, happy to help.
That's definitely been missing.
Thank you Cathy for reminding me:
Just because I have to do it, doesn't mean I have to do it alone.
Altered Today: Remembering I have people who want to support me.
PS If you'd like to learn how to give yourself intramuscular Methylated B-12 shots, there's a great tutorial here. To learn how to give subcutaneous injections, go here. To adopt your own nurse (a smart investment, in my opinion), go here .
FYI: Some doctors prefer intramuscular B-12 injections and some prefer subcutaneous B-12 injections. To find out what type of injection is right for you (and the best way to deliver it), ask your doctor.