Sooooooo, in a desperate attempt to cure my chronic thrushy, mcthrush and wormy mcworms, one of my doctors recommended I visit another doctor who is said to have great "intuition" when it comes to figuring out complex health problems.
"She's a miracle worker," I was told.
"Knew my patient had cancer before science could show it," they said.
Soooo, I made the appointment.
My actual 5-minute conversation, after driving for 30 minutes and waiting an hour.
Said psychic miracle worker (in her THICK Jamaican accent): What seem to be da problem?
Me: Well...I'm hoping you can tell me.
Her: You sick? You have tings going on with you?
Me: Well, I have Lyme, but...
Her (interrupting): Ufffft...Ya have Lyme???? Ya DONE. Tere's no helpin' dat.
Me: Well, I'm not really here for dat. I'm here about thrush and possible parasites. Testing and medications aren't helping and I heard you have a good sense about knowing what's going on with people when science can't figure it out.
Her: Not today. Not in ya case. In ya case, I've got no-tin. Ya got Fibromyalgia? Uffft...Ya DONE. Tere's no helpin' dat.
Me (laughing at the ridiculous of it all): Well...I appreciate your honesty.
Her: Ya get da colonoscopy?
Her: Ya get da stool test?
Her: Phhhh...I dunno know. Maybe Infectious Disease doctor? Lyme, parasites, Fibromyalgia... Ya get tose tings, Ya DONE. Tere's no helping dat
Me: Well...at least you've heard of it.
ROFL. Call me now. Do you believe I just paid (or insurance just paid) for dat??? Thank goodness I haven't lost my sense of humor.