Art by Natalie Dee
Have you ever seen the Prilosec commercial? You know. The one where the guy's rattling off his pill schedule? Being a professional patient's like that. Not only from pill taking. It's the frequent treating and domino effect. That's what I most relate to.
In the last four days, I've seen six seven doctors/medical professionals....plus lab work...plus scheduling diagnostics....plus prescriptions...plus life.
A trip to the Dermatologist turns into testing for T-Cell Lymphoma (it's negative).
The gyno finds a lump/tender node under my arm...so it's off for a ultrasound.
My chiropractor worries I might be "at risk for" lymphedema.
The gastroenterologist's afraid to touch my jar full of parasites.
In the next three weeks alone, I'm scheduled for a colonoscopy, a trans vaginal ultrasound, a mammogram, a breast ultrasound, four doctor follow ups, physical therapy, massage therapy, plus the usual twice-weekly acupuncture and chiropractic appointments.
PFHEW...make it stop!!!
I know, I shouldn't complain.
I know, I should be thankful.
After all, at least...
a) Insurance is covering some of it
b) People are checking every orifice of my body
c) I have doctors
d) My energy's holding up
But seriously...this is venturing into overworked/underpaid territory.
I feel a Wildcat coming...
Altered Today: Dignity and the shear amount of people who have seen me naked. I'm starting to think I should charge for this.