Eleven days ago, I wrote a post asking myself three questions: What would calm do? What would peace do? What would relaxation do? It's an odd conversation...ESPECIALLY since I usually ask stuff like: How can I improve x? What will make a difference with y?
For days, I wrestle between my Logical, confined self and the Relaxed, carefree me.
R: You should go to the beach for a few days. It'll be good for you.
L: Ahem....get away??? Have you looked at your bills lately?
R: If you can spend thousands on doctors, blood work, and colon cleansing, a few hundred more isn't going to kill you.
And on and on it goes.
Logic's argument's simple: I'm am sick, having a hard time breathing, stressed financially and physically...not the smartest time to go exploring (and, by the way, other recent vacation attempts have not proven successful).
Relaxed has a different take: Healing is an inside job. My soul is tired. Sometimes you just need to let go.
The two argue mercilessly back and forth, to the point of indecision.
On Sunday, though, something cracks. "I'm booking where I feel led," I say, knowing if I pay in advance, I'll go. On my screen, from the day before, The Ritz Carlton in Sarasota. Without any more thought or worry, I select September 11-13 and hand over my credit card.
Letting Go...Again, and Again, and Again
15 minutes in, my first challenge. Just before hitting the highway, a dog...an adorable Toto-esque dog...wanders down the side of the road. He's not in danger..yet...but he could be.
Inside, I feel the usual URGE to worry.
L: Oh my God. He's going to get hit. Do something.
R: You are in no shape to "do" something. You nearly passed out walking to the car.
L: You could block traffic or signal someone or ....
Then, a clear voice, one I don't recognize (is it mine, God's, peace?).
"TRUST...someone will take care of it."
WOW...a completely foreign concept. Reluctantly, I listen and drive.
Over the next few days, similar "worries" dot the landscape.
Can I make it to my hotel room? What if GU treatment doesn't agree with me? How will I get around? Can I swim (safely)? Where will I eat? What about blogging?
"Just focus on you," the 'Voice' speaks again.
From the comped spa steam room that helps me breathe, to the free valet that conserves my strength, to the ocean side cabana team that keeps me hydrated, to the new Organic restaurant that JUST opened, everything's handled. Along the way, I give up control, get taken care of, follow my heart, and even extend the trip.
Altered Today: Faith, Protocols, Rx free