Art from my.opera.com
I'm so frustrated right now; all I can do is cry. After Eight months of being sick, seven months of not working, more than 20 plus MD/OB/ACUPUNCTURE/LLMD appointments, I still do not have a diagnosis. I feel perpetually without hope.
Today, my labs came back negative for Lyme Disease from Igenex--the best Lyme lab in the country. While this sounds like a good thing, Lyme tests detect antibodies....not the actual disease. Often the sickest people--those of us without immunity-- don't make them. $600 later ($400 for the Lyme test and $200 for today's appointment), I am right where I was a month ago: battling multiple chronic infections, dealing with multiple symptoms...maybe caused by Lyme...maybe not.
That's the thing that sucks about Lyme. It's not like you can dip a strip into some pee and if you have it, it turns blue. Lyme eats away at you, opens you up for other things, breaks your spirit, and evades detection; it is a clinical diagnosis.
For now, fearing I do not have enough antibodies to test positive anyway--I am positive on band 41, inconclusive on band 39 (used to say positive 41 and 23)--we have chosen to NOT to test for ticked related co-infections (Babesiosis, Ehrlichia, Bartonella). Instead, Doxycycline has been added to my daily routine. If it causes a Herx reaction (ie: worsening of symptoms) it is a good indicator Lyme is part of the problem. Otherwise, I am just a girl who’s been hit hard by the chronic virus bus; hopefully one who will get better over time.
There are no words to describe how upset I am right now. I want to scream. I want to hide. I want to make it stop. I am not inspired to “look on the bright side” or “think about how much better I will feel someday.” I want my life back. Instead, it's back to the drawing board and more waiting.
Altered Today: Nothing