Well, the day's not off to a good start. Sleep didn't come easily last night and, when it did, it was filled with horrible/ironic dreams; like being trapped in a Hyperbaric Chamber running out of oxygen (think it's time to stop medical research before bed??).
Anyway, now on top of my normal crappy, sick/achy/flu-like/pain/virusy symptoms, I feel like I have some strange hangover..which makes the fight I had with my husband this morning even more upsetting.
It started when the alarm went off, which instantly had me up and worried about the dog. Hubby was still tired (probably from me keeping him up all night) and I felt exhausted (for obvious reasons).
I rolled over, asked my husband to let the dog out (which he didn't think needed out yet), but obsessive me couldn't relax knowing she was in there so I kept asking.
Me (whiny): Baby, can you let Betsy out? I really need to go back to sleep.
Him (sleepy): She's fine. I'll get her in a 1/2 hour.
Me (insistent): But baby, I can't sleep if I'm worried about her, can you please just let her out? I really need to sleep.
Him (louder): She's fine. I'll do it in a little bit
Me (getting more obsessed): She's not fine. PLEASE...I just need to sleep.
Him (more annoyed now than sleepy): I need to sleep too. What about me?
Me (now totally upset, awake, sick, and righteous): Hrruuuumph! (insert noise of slamming door here).
It was not a pretty scene; also not one of my finer moments, but this is how it is when you have a life surrounded by illness. On the one hand, you have me--a sick person--grappling for any moment of reprieve. On the other, you have him--a caregiver--struggling for the same.
They're different sides of the same boat: both sinking, both overloaded, and both desperately in need of rescue. I love you, baby. I'm sorry I slammed the door this morning and that I didn't trust you to take care of things later. I am also sorry you're feeling tired and overwhelmed. We'll get through this.
Altered Today: Seeing life from my husband's point of view, formally apologizing, going back to bed.