As weird as it sounds, I miss my husband. Though he's just two rooms away, we haven't been especially close lately and, rather than come together, it seems like we're living in two separate worlds.
In his world, he goes to the gym, takes care of our current marketing business, and works on his photography website. In my world, I write blog posts, do art when I'm up to it, and obsessively research health information.
Occasionally, we'll stop for a movie or a bite to eat, but even then we're disconnected. I'll watch sadly as he escapes to his i-pad. His eyes will roll slightly as I fill him in on the current ache of the day.
When our paths cross, our conversations are always the same. He'll ask if I took my vitamins or if I ate yet. I'll ask how he's doing or what he's working on (usually with little response).
Although I know it's just temporary, this is not a fun time in our marriage (less better, more worse). It can't be easy for him to have a wife who's chronically tired, complaining, and inconsolable. And it's not easy for me to have a husband who doesn't understand..even though I know he's trying.
As I discussed the dilemma with my girlfriend, she offered an idea. "Wanna know a new game I am playing with my husband?" "Sure," I said up for anything. "When he comes home now, instead of asking how he's doing, I ask him to tell me five things about his day."
"Interesting," I thought...inspired to get this train moving again. So, this afternoon over eggs, I tried it. "Tell me five things about your game yesterday," I requested between sips of water. And, for 20 minutes, he gave me all the dirt: how they were one man down, how he played offense and defense, how he's the oldest guy on the team. It was nice to see him smile.
As we enter our 8th year of marriage, I'm still learning what it means to be a good wife, a good partner, and a good friend to the man that stole my heart during a life changing seminar.
Baby, if you are reading this, I love you and I miss you. I'm sorry I've been so distant and self-consumed and miserable. Five things?
You mean everything to me.
Altered Today: Listening/Talking, Getting Connected